It's 2013!
New year means my A Level results will be out anytime sooner. I swear its freaking haunting my life every now and then :( I had been having bad nightmares about my result. its very bad :( Considering the fact that my life's quite screwed ever since I entered.............. yeah. Negativity strikes! I'm losing hope. Not that I didnt try. I have. I've given my all, sacrificed my time and obeyed this certain tutor that it led me to depression. sigh. Idk man. I'd go haywire whenever I think of it. I dont even know whats the reason behind all these. Well I do tho, for some. If I were fated to get a tariff points of 120, I'll go to UBD and join this UniBridge programme, well obviously am gonna do Bachelor of Health Science which will again, land me, back to "square one" :p see how majal I am :( I dont mind really spending another long ass years of studying. as long I get what I've been longing for because "No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams" - Jesse Jackson. Plus life's a continuous learning process. The more knowledge you have, the wiser you'll get (doesnt apply to me sometimes depending who I'm with. HAHA!). No seriously. Just as long no one demotivate the crap outta me AGAIN and have a pro educator. I have to admit that I'm quite fragile when it comes to this. Whats so bad about continuing your studies in local uni. sama jua karang kana kick to partnering universities abroad if you fulfilled their requirements. See how awesome UBD is. I just dont know man. thats just a back up plan if I were to...... yeah yaknow. Theres a lot of alternative ways to get into medical school actually. Ever since my A Level exam started, in fact before it started, I've been freaking out like theres no tomorrow. LOL. The What ifs are killing my brain cells slowly. I dont wanna disappoint my parents since they've given me so much and myself especially. gila. you've no idea what it feels like when my lecturer and some people actually asked me to give up on my dreams. okay. I'm quarter way through. I've fought my way through up till now. I did whatever's been asked and be a 'rebel'. gila tu bro. thats a waste. I hate my strong determination sometimes. its leading me to destruction sometimes. entah broooo. inda ku tauuuuu :( I'm much more pressured with the whole family's thought of "kau okay ni eh. sanang pass masuk uni kau ni next year". I mean like seriously. after all the bullcraps I've been through................ I seriously dont know what to expect. eventhough...................... onlymeandcertainpeopleknwwhativedone and the sudden expectations/events/whatever........ entah. I hope its a sign. Okay no more negativity. I hope my intuition is right. I'll just pray for the best. welp! :(
Au Revoir!
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