Rebuild maybe
"There are 2 ways, either give up that which you fear to lose so that it no longer holds any power over you, or consider what you will still have if your fears comes to pass. After all, if you did lose all you built, you would still keep the experience and knowledge that you've gained up to this point, wouldn't you"
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A good friend of mine shared the above wise words with me just now. We had a deep talk of everything over lunch after today's exam. We ended up talking for 4 hours. LOL. anyway, we were talking about our struggles that we're currently facing in our journey to achieve our dreams (not to mention the regrets. lol). I have to admit the struggles/obstacles are getting on my nerves. I'm even at the verge of giving up already. I'm not sure what do I wanna do next as I was too focused on getting it without thinking what might happen to me along the way. I'm so through with all these but then, my high school teacher used to tell me to never give up on something you really want. It's difficult to wait, but worse to regret. Which got me thinking once again. Like, I've had countless future talks with my best friend, about what might have or could have been and I do have backups tho but then again, I'm not so sure if I wanna do that since yaknow, I've worked my ass off, sacrificed my social life and even killed myself doing attachments at RIPAS last year. I've basically built a hell of "empire" in my attempt to achieve my dreams. That "empire" used to be filled with excitements and all those sort of things and now, it's filled with fears, fears of losing it. I do know I'm still young and still got a hell long way to go but I still have to think about my future, and the hanging dream that used to be filled with hope, faith, that indescribable energy and I was almost there........ Yes, I'm also aware that I could turn to pursue the family legacy or turn my passion for photography as a business (PS: I already have a manager. jsyk. :p), like my best friend told me before (for gazillion times).
I would actually but then again thinking of the empire I built and the thingies that comes along with it, like my friend told me, either to give up or hold on. After all, if I were to lose it one day, one thing for sure, I wont dwell on it. I still get to keep the knowledge and experiences I've gained. If its meant to be for me, it will be eventho I have to go through some more hell.
Rebuilding the empire? hmm. idk bro. let Allah plan it for me. haha. I'll just go with the flow. After all, he's the best planner. I'm tired of following my own plans. As usual, things happen for a reason.
anyway, I'm down with 3 papers for this week. yay! 2 more to go. I'm going home at 7pm tomorrow. lol. the fun of being in shift 2. cray cray.
ps: hiatus? what hiatus? 0:) hahahaha.
Gotta blast,
Au Revoir!
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